어떤 타입의 남성이 건강한 정자를 가지고 있을까 VIDEO: 5 things to know if you want to become a single parent by choice

5 things to know if you want to become a single parent by choice

There's a lot to weigh up but don't let being single block you from parenthood.There's a lot to weigh up but don't let being single block you from parenthood.IMAGE: VICKY LETA 

BY SIOBHAN NEELA-STOCK

9 HOURS AGO

In Party for One, Mashable explores single life in 2020, from Carly Rae Jepsen’s iconic single anthems, to the beauty of alone time, and the fascinating history behind the single positivity movement.

In 1979, Jane Mattes was busy looking into adoption in hopes of becoming a mother. One of her single female friends had recently adopted a child, which intrigued Mattes and inspired her search. 

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정자가 건강한 남성의 특징 5     남성적인 얼굴에 걸걸한 목소리, 과연 정자도 건강하고 남자다울까? 겉으로 봐서는 알 수 없는 정자 상태. 어떻게 판단할 수 있을까? 미국 ‘멘스 헬스’가 전문가들의 설명을 보도했다. 얼굴  스페인과 핀란드 연구에 따르면 넓고 각진 남성적 얼굴보다 여성형 얼굴을 가진 남성의 정액이 더 건강하다. 그 까닭에 대해 연구진에 내놓은 가설은 이렇다. 신체가 쓸 수 있는 자원은 한정적이다. 정액 이외의 부차적인 성적 특질, 예컨대 남성적인 얼굴을 계발하는 데 신체적 자원을 쓰면 정액 생산이 소홀해진다는 것. 목소리  낮고 거칠한 남성적 목소리가 남성적으로 들린다. 그러나 오스트레일리아 연구에 따르면 그런 허스키한 목소리의 주인공들은 정액 중 정자의 농도가 낮았다. 연구진은 테스토스테론 탓이라고 추정했다. 테스토스테론은 남성적인 외모와 낮은 목소리에 관여하는 호르몬. 그러나 너무 많으면 정자 생산을 억압한다. 생선  미국 하버드 대학교 연구진에 따르면, 가공육을 많이 섭취하는 남성은 적게 섭취하는 남성에 비해 정상적인 형태의 정자 수가 현저히 낮았다. 반대로 생선, 특히 연어와 참치를 많이 먹는 남성들은 적게 먹는 남성들에 비해 정액 중 정자 농도가 65% 높았다. 외모나 목소리는 바꿀 수 없지만, 식단은 가능하다. 햄이나 소시지 같은 가공육을 끊을 것. 단백질은 되도록 고기가 아니라 생선을 통해 섭취할 것. 복부  식스 팩이 있어야 한다는 뜻은 아니다. 하지만 뱃살이 흐벅진 건 좋지 않은 징조다. 네덜란드 연구진에 따르면, 허리둘레가 40인치 이상인 남성은 정자 농도가 낮고 정상적으로 움직이는 정자 수도 적었다. 규칙적인 운동으로 복부 비만을 개선할 것. 라이프스타일을 바꾸면 정자 상태도 달라진다. 긴 시간도 필요치 않다. 석 달만 건강하게 생활하면 정자의 질을 개선할 수 있다. 속옷  영국 연구진은 헐렁한 사각팬티를 입은 남자들이 꽉 끼는 속옷을 입은 남자들에 비해 수동적인 정자 수가 24% 낮더란 사실을 발견했다. 속옷이 헐렁하면 음낭 온도가 낮아지기 때문에 정액 질이 향상된다. 이용재 기자 youngchaeyi@kormedi.com 코메디닷컴 http://kormedi.com/1326694/%EC%A0%95%EC%9E%90%EA%B0%80-%EA%B1%B4%EA%B0%95%ED%95%9C-%EB%82%A8%EC%84%B1%EC%9D%98-%ED%8A%B9%EC%A7%95-5/

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But life swooped in and altered her plans. Mattes unintentionally became pregnant by the man she was dating at the time. He wasn't interested in fatherhood and wished her good luck. His decision didn't change Mattes' trajectory. She had already been considering solo parenthood. 

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Today Mattes' son is 40 years old. His single-parent upbringing didn't phase him at all while growing up, according to his mother. "He was like, 'what's the big deal?'" she says. Despite her son's ease with his family structure, Mattes didn't always find it easy to be a single parent. In late 1980, she started a support group in New York City for mothers like her, which evolved into the nonprofit Single Mothers by Choice in 1981. Today, the organization provides a communal online and offline space for women and non-binary people predominately in the U.S. and Canada who are contemplating single parenthood, those who are already pregnant, and those who are single parents by choice. 

Though Mattes loved every minute of her solo parenting journey, saying she was thrilled to watch her son grow from a baby into a developed person, she knows the single parent by choice road is paved with challenges. 

Mashable spoke with Mattes and other experts to get tips for anyone who is contemplating going the parenting path alone (though most of the experts work only with women, a lot of the advice can also be used by single fathers by choice), and what they should consider. 

1. Don't be put off by people's reactions

When Sarah Kowalski told people close to her that she was going to be a single parent by choice, she didn't realize how much it would trigger other people's insecurities. At 39 years old, she was without a partner but wanted to be a parent. She eventually received eggs from a donor as she's infertile and, therefore, can't conceive a baby with her own eggs. Though it was a long and sometimes challenging journey, Kowalski is now on the other side. As a fertility doula, she mentors women who are having difficulties conceiving, either because they don't have a partner or have fertility issues, and offers support groups for single mothers by choice through her website Motherhood Reimagined.  

2. Consider the ways your life will change 

It's important to assess whether you're willing to give up the fun parts of being child-free, like the freedom to do what you want when you want, before you take the plunge into the single parent life.

Kali says no matter how many times they tell their clients how much their life will alter as a parent (single or not), they don't get it until they're in it.

"The level at which having a child is going to fundamentally change your life still comes as a surprise to most people," says Kali. "I think most people feel like they can have a baby, take some time off, and then pick their life off where they left it."

If you're unsure what single parenting might involve, check out Mattes' Single Mothers By Choice blog, where single parents by choice detail these experiences. 

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3. Research your options 

There are a lot of routes when it comes to having a child as a single parent — sometimes too many and it can feel overwhelming. First and foremost, you should consult your doctor, as everyone's health and bodies are different, as are the risks associated with different options.

4. Take stock of your finances

You'll want to weigh the costs of the options available to you, whichever route you take. When Kowalski's OB-GYN first told her she'd likely need an egg donor to get pregnant, she wasn't ready to accept it. Kowalski spent nearly $10,000 exploring other infertility options before she went with an egg donation, so she recommends setting a budget.

5. Find or cultivate a support system

A support system can be invaluable for any parent, but it's essential for a single parent who doesn't have a partner to lean on for childcare duties or emotional support.

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https://mashable.com/article/what-to-know-single-parent-by-choice/

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